Ok, this is Jenny your friendly (at times) neighborhood trans woman who is also a lesbian (yes we exist). I wanted to discuss the Milo fallout one last time, through the lens of his claims that trans people are a threat to women and children. You see, the reason I find him so repugnant is that he is baselessly recycling attacks I've dealt with ever since I came out and started transitioning.
From the beginning many people I knew (emphasis on past tense) were worried about me being around their kids for a variety of reasons. Most of my true friends didn't give one shit. There were some though who worried about me. I can't tell if they thought my cock would fly out of my panties and just start raping any orifice it could find (more on that later), or if it was general discomfiture. The general malaise was summed by one mother as "you will confuse my child, and he'll ask questions." Well sorry not sorry on that. For one, your precious snowflake of a child has seen drag before. I mean did you ever watch Bugs Bunny cartoons? He's in drag every other episode. But beyond that infantile excuse, the problem is, lady, you can't shelter that kid forever from the "Other". You would have run into me at the store, or at the mall, or at the doctor's office. I get around, and there's more than just me cruising the fair city of Las Vegas. Besides are gays/lesbians, people of different skin color, nuns/priests, or other conservative/orthodox religious people going to have to steer clear so questions aren't asked? Secondly though, kids I've found just don't really question it. Oh that adult is in a dress. Some might with the innocence only a child can summon bluntly ask, for which usually the answer is "this is who I am. It's not a choice, but one day I realized this is what makes me a happy and complete person". BOOM, and kids get that. Most of my friends with kids, their kids just get it. They don't really ask questions, they take it as a given, and they only make a big to-do about it if YOU the parent make a big to-do about it. Really though this pathetic defense of cowering behind children is stale. This was used on black people during Segregation as a reason to keep blacks away. They are a bad influence on good white kids, and the kids will ask stupid questions like why they have to sit at the back or use the "other" restroom. This was also the excuse to exclude gays through the 70s, 80s, and 90s. The idea was that gay men can't control themselves and rape men with reckless abandon and actively hunt young kids to recruit. Ironic that Milo voiced that very same issue as being "normal", when the gay community would say it is anything but.
Now on to the bathrooms, and I do have a personal story. First though, the macro view. Overall, for trans women and trans men, the public bathroom is one of the scariest places. Even in areas with protections it is the most likely spot for a trans person in public to be assaulted, sexually assaulted, or even murdered. The statistics bear out that trans people experience a lot of violence just trying to pee, and that has a chilling effect on our desire to be out in public. It means a time leash otherwise you might have to take a gamble at getting beaten up, harassed, or worse. For me though, this happened my very first time. It was a milestone for me, as I had been transitioning a bit but had never used a female public toilet. A former friend at a kinksters meeting told me to do it, as it is legal for me to do so. I did so. Wow, let me tell you... it was boring. It's the fucking same except for the personal trash cans in the stalls for female hygiene product trash. And nothing happened. I crowed about this baby step on the online Facebook for kinky people called Fetlife, and that's when the storm hit. One of the leaders had a girlfriend who flipped out at me, even though she wasn't even there. She started incredibly hostilely by asking "Is this how you get off?" and "I'm not comfortable". She even got her boyfriend to come down as a leader to say, "Why change?" I was stunned. I reflected that hostility saying I had a legal right to do so, which according to the Nevada State Constitution, yes I do. Others quickly gave me the tone argument that I had to politely answer this lady's VERY rude and pointed questions without being rude myself. One lady who is a "leader" for female dominants was agreeing with her. It quickly split the whole community down the line with many bigots adding fuel to the fire, claiming they could do the same if all they do is put on a wig, heels, and a dress. Never mind the massive sexist connotations that women have all long hair, all wear heels when out, and all wear dresses, and yes I would dare that bigot to try to go out in public and walk around in 3" heels while in a dress. You would quickly find it isn't an easy or fun thing to do for thrills. I was mostly amazed that people I didn't even really know like one of my now best friends, Jennah, came to my defense. Others did too. The ultimate irony was when even when the state constitution was cited, some KEPT saying it could be a legal issue for the bar... to follow the state constitution. It finally took the actual head of the group to fucking call the bar, check they follow state regulations, and then to state that the group would also follow state regulations. You know what the lady who instigated this said could be done? I could go, IF I announced and outed myself to the whole bar, had an honor guard sweep the bathroom to make sure no females will have to see me, and THEN I can go in there. I don't know how to tell you how dehumanizing that all was. In the end things kind of smoothed over, "Jenny's Law" was put up on the site for the group stating they follow state guidelines (gag), and I've gone back. But I learned. I learned that these people, many of whom were friendly enough to me at first, were waiting for a reason to turn on me. Yeah a lot of them left the group, many were shuffled out as the bigots they were, but it still scarred the fuck out of me. I still have problems going alone in public for fear of some kind of attack. So hearing some privileged asshole like Milo doing his gay version of a minstrelsy show tries to hang that shit on me, it hurts personally.
Now here's the biggest rub. I don't see what the big deal is. It's a public bathroom. You don't need "absolute" privacy. You have a fucking stall, and I should think anyone gawping at you through the gaps in the stall or over or under the walls would piss you off. But really how often has that happened. Really unless you are trying to have sex, do drugs, or do something illegal, you should be fine with the privacy you have in there. Moreover, yeah, my wang isn't going to fly out and hunt you down in there. Trust me, I'm more scared in there of everyone else, than they are of me. As one last note, NO trans women don't stand when peeing in public. That's an asshole's worry that the seat will be left up or peed on. Last I checked we try NOT to call attention to ourselves.
From the beginning many people I knew (emphasis on past tense) were worried about me being around their kids for a variety of reasons. Most of my true friends didn't give one shit. There were some though who worried about me. I can't tell if they thought my cock would fly out of my panties and just start raping any orifice it could find (more on that later), or if it was general discomfiture. The general malaise was summed by one mother as "you will confuse my child, and he'll ask questions." Well sorry not sorry on that. For one, your precious snowflake of a child has seen drag before. I mean did you ever watch Bugs Bunny cartoons? He's in drag every other episode. But beyond that infantile excuse, the problem is, lady, you can't shelter that kid forever from the "Other". You would have run into me at the store, or at the mall, or at the doctor's office. I get around, and there's more than just me cruising the fair city of Las Vegas. Besides are gays/lesbians, people of different skin color, nuns/priests, or other conservative/orthodox religious people going to have to steer clear so questions aren't asked? Secondly though, kids I've found just don't really question it. Oh that adult is in a dress. Some might with the innocence only a child can summon bluntly ask, for which usually the answer is "this is who I am. It's not a choice, but one day I realized this is what makes me a happy and complete person". BOOM, and kids get that. Most of my friends with kids, their kids just get it. They don't really ask questions, they take it as a given, and they only make a big to-do about it if YOU the parent make a big to-do about it. Really though this pathetic defense of cowering behind children is stale. This was used on black people during Segregation as a reason to keep blacks away. They are a bad influence on good white kids, and the kids will ask stupid questions like why they have to sit at the back or use the "other" restroom. This was also the excuse to exclude gays through the 70s, 80s, and 90s. The idea was that gay men can't control themselves and rape men with reckless abandon and actively hunt young kids to recruit. Ironic that Milo voiced that very same issue as being "normal", when the gay community would say it is anything but.
Now on to the bathrooms, and I do have a personal story. First though, the macro view. Overall, for trans women and trans men, the public bathroom is one of the scariest places. Even in areas with protections it is the most likely spot for a trans person in public to be assaulted, sexually assaulted, or even murdered. The statistics bear out that trans people experience a lot of violence just trying to pee, and that has a chilling effect on our desire to be out in public. It means a time leash otherwise you might have to take a gamble at getting beaten up, harassed, or worse. For me though, this happened my very first time. It was a milestone for me, as I had been transitioning a bit but had never used a female public toilet. A former friend at a kinksters meeting told me to do it, as it is legal for me to do so. I did so. Wow, let me tell you... it was boring. It's the fucking same except for the personal trash cans in the stalls for female hygiene product trash. And nothing happened. I crowed about this baby step on the online Facebook for kinky people called Fetlife, and that's when the storm hit. One of the leaders had a girlfriend who flipped out at me, even though she wasn't even there. She started incredibly hostilely by asking "Is this how you get off?" and "I'm not comfortable". She even got her boyfriend to come down as a leader to say, "Why change?" I was stunned. I reflected that hostility saying I had a legal right to do so, which according to the Nevada State Constitution, yes I do. Others quickly gave me the tone argument that I had to politely answer this lady's VERY rude and pointed questions without being rude myself. One lady who is a "leader" for female dominants was agreeing with her. It quickly split the whole community down the line with many bigots adding fuel to the fire, claiming they could do the same if all they do is put on a wig, heels, and a dress. Never mind the massive sexist connotations that women have all long hair, all wear heels when out, and all wear dresses, and yes I would dare that bigot to try to go out in public and walk around in 3" heels while in a dress. You would quickly find it isn't an easy or fun thing to do for thrills. I was mostly amazed that people I didn't even really know like one of my now best friends, Jennah, came to my defense. Others did too. The ultimate irony was when even when the state constitution was cited, some KEPT saying it could be a legal issue for the bar... to follow the state constitution. It finally took the actual head of the group to fucking call the bar, check they follow state regulations, and then to state that the group would also follow state regulations. You know what the lady who instigated this said could be done? I could go, IF I announced and outed myself to the whole bar, had an honor guard sweep the bathroom to make sure no females will have to see me, and THEN I can go in there. I don't know how to tell you how dehumanizing that all was. In the end things kind of smoothed over, "Jenny's Law" was put up on the site for the group stating they follow state guidelines (gag), and I've gone back. But I learned. I learned that these people, many of whom were friendly enough to me at first, were waiting for a reason to turn on me. Yeah a lot of them left the group, many were shuffled out as the bigots they were, but it still scarred the fuck out of me. I still have problems going alone in public for fear of some kind of attack. So hearing some privileged asshole like Milo doing his gay version of a minstrelsy show tries to hang that shit on me, it hurts personally.
Now here's the biggest rub. I don't see what the big deal is. It's a public bathroom. You don't need "absolute" privacy. You have a fucking stall, and I should think anyone gawping at you through the gaps in the stall or over or under the walls would piss you off. But really how often has that happened. Really unless you are trying to have sex, do drugs, or do something illegal, you should be fine with the privacy you have in there. Moreover, yeah, my wang isn't going to fly out and hunt you down in there. Trust me, I'm more scared in there of everyone else, than they are of me. As one last note, NO trans women don't stand when peeing in public. That's an asshole's worry that the seat will be left up or peed on. Last I checked we try NOT to call attention to ourselves.
